Of Dreaming dreams… good or bad

I woke this morning and thank God ‘It’s just a dream!’ What others might define as nightmares. I don’t know why I often dreamed this kind of dreams – dreams of getting lost. of wandering around and around, not finding where I am supposed to go or supposed to be. It is quite frustrating and I feel horrible that I was not prepared for exams, of running late finding the exam room, of getting lost along the way and not able to find Andrew, wandering in the streets – back and forth and ending nowhere near my destination.

Dream in another context is good. A song in the broadway musical Miss Saigon comes to mind:

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting

There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

And still I dream he’ll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I’m living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

This song is about dreams unfulfilled – of wishes and desires of the heart – far far cry from reality.

It’s ironical how life is about dreams fulfilled or not; unwanted nightmares and inescapable realities. These dreams of mine – of being lost and wandering, I never fail to wake from them – “Thank God, it is just a dream.” Then I think about my reality – of times when I didn’t know what to do, of decisions I need to make and wondering which best to take. And I am thankful that God shows the way – one step at a time, one day at a time.

My life has a purpose. I may be lost sometimes but I am not always wandering around aimlessly. It is tiring along the way but I have companions along the journey. God sends me co-travellers to make the way easier. Burdens are lighter because I do not carry and should not carry them alone. There are times of solitude but in solitude I am not alone.

It is a reality that one can be lonely in a crowd while peacefully content in being alone – in solitude with God. In my dreams (nightmares) I am often alone and felt like abandoned with no one to show the way. In my dreams (desires), I have God who grants the desires of my heart as I take delight in Him. (Psalm 34:7)

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
(I live a dream that time draws nigh and time to be..
when hope is high and life worth living)

I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
(I live coz love does not die
I live coz God is forgiving)

Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
(Now I am grown and unafraid
And dreams fulfilled and fused and tasted)

There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted
(Jesus paid the ransom, no grace unsung, no mercy untasted)

And still I dream he’ll come to me
That we will live the years together
(And still I live the dream that Jesus will come again
That we will live eternity together)

But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
(So there is life more than dreams can be
And there are storms we surely weather)

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I’m living
(I have a life my dream should be
So like the heaven I’m wishing)

So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.
(So different now from what I dreamed
Now life has filled the dream I dreamed.)

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