A candid sensitivity

What kind of friend do u find most likeable on FB? Mine… a friend comes into mind for her candour.. I like her posts because she can be candidly funny.

What kind of inspirational speaker do u find most inspiring? Mine.. two friends come to mind: one speaks of all her achievements and how she achieve them; the other shares her success stories and candidly tells of her not-so-successful ones. Of these two, i prefer the latter.

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And so I want to talk about candour. What does it mean to be candid? To be candid is to be honest, frank and speaking the truth without a facade. For me, the word seems to carry a sense of happiness and brightness. I searched for its origin. In latin, it is whiteness. Words associated with candour are integrity, sincerity, fairness, guilelessness and naiveté,

To be guileless and naive is to be childlike – without deceit. How does a child do that? At times, to the point of being rude, right? But we know that behind his truthfulness, he did not mean to hurt. Let me illustrate an example: I was embarrassed when my young daughter candidly told a friend that her gift was too small to fit her. She answered in reply to the friend’s asking. She was too young to be tactful about it.

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Tact is sensitivity, understanding and thoughtfulness in dealing with difficult situations. Its Latin origin is to touch, or sense of touch.

I appreciate the candour of my adult friends and I observed that my child needs tact in her candour. What is the difference of their candour? The candour of my friends is illustrated when they shared truths about themselves – even their own weaknesses or the not-so-good stuffs in their lives in order to share lessons they learned. On the other hand, I teach my child that she needs to be tactful even as she is honest.

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The Bible sums it up nicely: Speak the truth in love. (Eph. 4:15) Paul taught the Ephesians to grow in Christ. To be mature in Christ is about integrity and about love. How? We need to be honest with each other and we need to be sensitive to one another. Candour with tact – speak in truth with a sense of touch.

We all need friends with whom we can speak of our deepest concerns, and who do not fear to speak the truth in love to us

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