I wrote this piece a year ago 2.5 months after my mom passed away… Today, I still have thoughts of doing things better or what i should or should have not done. I know things past cannot be undone. I can only treasure the good memories n learn from the not so good.
Regret: is feeling sad because you fail to do something you now think or wish you could have done.
What ifs.. this is ‘imagining’ the worse or worst scenarios that could or might happen in life.
If only.. this is ‘wishing’ the better scenarios that should have happened in life..
Regrets… I have learned and am still learning that regrets are of no use to me except as reminders to do better in the future.
‘What is’ is better than what if… Instead of worrying about what could/might happen (which usually does not and will not), it is better to ponder on what is happening. For Christians, what is God giving me.. how is God using me..
If only… this is related to regrets. It is like the opposite of regrets. I regret not doing certain things… If only (I wish), I could have done better.
These 3 phrases are lessons for me in the past few months.
1) No Regret: I refuse to dwell on things I wish I had done better for my mom. I choose to think of the things I did for her – which made her happy. It does not help my mental health to regret.
2) No If only: If only Marian and I convinced her to be admitted to the hospital.. if only we let her have blood transfusion… If only her haemoglobin was not that low.. what good are these if onlys?
3) No what ifs; Only What is.. Mama is now in the bosom of our Lord. She is now free from pain and suffering: no more tear, no more night.
My friend, any regrets? Let them serve as stepping stone to do better next time. Any what ifs? Throw them away.. cast all your cares to the Lord because He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7) Any if onlys? Trash them as well. Just do your best day by day, moment by moment by God’s grace and mercy. Yes, we can. Just do it!
Life walk with Marlene 