A Love Letter to Hannah

What does a mother say to her child who bravely left her family in the pandemic to get married thousand of miles away from home? How does a mom feel when she could not be with her in the journey ahead? Would she be lonely? What if she catch the virus? etc. I guess I chose not to dwell too much on the sad possibilities. Instead I thought of how to embolden and empower her for the journey ahead. God is good. He was with her all the way.

So here’s my love letter to my child – 3 days after she left home. She flew out of the nest on 6/12/20 – literally to be independent as it’s independence day of a country in lockdown! Today is 1/5/2023. I woke and it’s 4:15am. I looked in my files and found this letter which I need to read for myself. I need to apply the lessons for myself this time. As I share it, dear reader, I pray the Holy Spirit touch your heart to be brave and realize what matters most in life!

My dear Han,

You are my first born. You are God’s gift to enroll me in the school of motherhood. A new lesson for me today is letting go of my child and setting her free.

Today as you enter a new milestone in your life, I let go of your hand even as I hold you always in my heart. I pray that the Holy Spirit empower you to be a wife of noble character that God intended you to be. Just as God created Eve to be a helper to Adam, you are to be a helper to Jensen.

I ask that the Lord enable you to bring him good, not harm, all the days of your life. May our almighty God strengthen your arms and hands to work eagerly. May His loving kindness touch your heart to be generous to the poor and needy. May His presence embolden you to step out in faith amidst life’s challenges. May His Spirit grant you a heart of wisdom to make good choices in word and deed. May you laugh at the days to come as His peace covers you in strength and dignity.

Remember charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. May you yearn and work for the words of your master: “Well done, good and faithful servant… enter your master’s happiness.”

Remember to be humble always for
This is what the LORD says:
“Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the LORD. (Jer. 9:23-24)

Love as God loves you. Forgive as God forgives you. Be gracious as God is gracious to you. Take delight in the things that the Lord delights in. Boast that you know the Lord God who is kind, just and righteous.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Prov. 3:5-6)

Thank you, Lord for listening to the prayers of my heart. I let go and entrust my child into the palm of your loving and righteous right hand. In the precious name of Jesus, Amen.

To Fear or Not to Fear

To fear or not to fear… What are you afraid of? What makes your knee weak with fear? What shakes your composure and keeps you awake at night? Is it fear of sickness? fear of loneliness? fear of loss? fear of death? fear of rejection? fear of financial insecurities? fear of the unknown?

Psalm 112 tells the secret to a life of no fear. Fear the Lord and have no fear. The Christian life is not a pure smooth path of roses. It is not all sunshine. There will be darkness v.4 but even in darkness, light dawns for the upright -for the gracious, compassionate and righteous – these are the characteristics of those who fear the Lord. v. 6 tells us the righteous will never be shaken – they will stood firm and have no fear of BAD NEWS because their hearts are steadfast, trusting the Lord. v.7 This implies that there is bad news BUT we will have no fear even when things are bad.

Sometimes we are tossed and turned by waves of fears. It is so difficult to be steadfast – to be steady, to be secure and to ‘not be shaken’ and have no fear of the darkness, the bad news of life. What to fear? or rather Who to fear? Fear the Lord – not the kind of being afraid – but the kind of obedience – finding great delight in his commands! Turn your fear of the dark into steadfast unshakeable security by fearing the Lord of light. Even in darkness, light dawns. Even with bad news, there is no fear!

Psalm 112
1 Praise the Lord.
Blessed are those who fear the Lord,
who find great delight in his commands.
2 Their children will be mighty in the land;
the generation of the upright will be blessed.
3 Wealth and riches are in their houses,
and their righteousness endures forever.
4 Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,
for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous.
5 Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely,
who conduct their affairs with justice.
6 Surely the righteous will never be shaken;
they will be remembered forever.
7 They will have no fear of bad news;
their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
8 Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear;
in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.
9 They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor,
their righteousness endures forever;
their horn will be lifted high in honor.
10 The wicked will see and be vexed,
they will gnash their teeth and waste away;
the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.

#fearless #FearOfTheLord #wisdom #readthebible

Danny’s Flashlight

Light of the world, a lamp in the dark, a city set on a hill.. These words remind me of my friend, Danny. When? When he was fighting and dying of cancer… How? Let me share an excerpt of the eulogy I wrote for him some 10 months ago.

On 4/9, Danny said: I’m stable but in pain. feels like a dog w/ sharp teeth biting my right chest n wont let go. I’m surviving thru much prayers esp at night I cant lie down. God is good. He makes me sleep when I’m exhausted. I’m truly thankful for that.

From 5/25-27: Scan results out, no good. He said: God knows what’s next. Don’t worry. I’m totally at peace. Pray for less pain. I don’t want my family to be affected when I whine or cry in pain. Thanks. I cannot explain the peace that I feel now.
“it’s not as bad as it sounds. God is good no matter how this progresses. I’m totally at peace. No worries. Thank you for prayers.”
“Let’s hope the med works. God is good. I’m not a bit worried.”

8/25, “I’m not afraid to go. I just ask God for another chance to share w others how good He’s been to me.”

Danny’s words testified that in all things (good n bad) God is good. He loved God and was devoted to Him amidst hardship. He loved people. He was dying and still thinking of God and neighbor. He wanted to donate whatever useful organs he’s got left. He asked for more time even in great pain to tell his stories.

Danny taught me lessons on dying bravely and living brightly even in the deep dark pit of pain. God enabled him to be a light shining in the valley of the shadow of death.

God took him first even though he was the youngest in our barkada. He was strongest when he was weakest because God’s grace was sufficient. Danny shone brightest when it was darkest because God was his light. Today, his voice resonates loudly because God’s Word was the only voice he heard and held on to. His life mirrored his Savior and Lord Jesus.

Today, Danny still speaks to me. Yesterday, his wife told me Danny gave me permission to share his stories whenever possible so people will know his God of grace. I miss Danny often especially when I have questions about the Bible, about things to write, ideas to share. He was a deep thinker, great teacher and fine writer. He’s witty, funny, silly, naughty and many more. Most of all, he’s my friend who loved me and whom I loved dearly. Tears falling as I write these words.

Around 1am today, I woke and could not get back to sleep. I watched some video clips on FB and chanced upon the Red Table Talk of Jada Pinkett Smith with the parents of Ms. USA who committed suicide earlier this year. Near the end of the talk, Jada shared her grief story about losing a dear friend. My takeaway from her lesson: Memories of our loved ones who passed on may fade. One sure thing remains: love.

How true the words from the Bible:
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

Seeing God’s Face

There once were two friends travelling in a desert. They got into an argument. In the heat of the moment, one slapped the other. The one who was slapped, wrote on the sand: Today, my best friend slapped me.
When they came to an oasis, they decided to take a bath. The one who was slapped, slipped and fell in the mire, started to drown. Her friend pulled her out and saved her life. The one who nearly drowned wrote on the stone: Today my friend saved my life.
Why?
When someone hurt you, write it on the sand where the wind will blow it away. When someone helped you, engrave it on the stone where nothing will erase it.
“For to see your face is like seeing the face of God!” Who said this? To who? how? where? when? WHY?
Who: Jacob
To who: Esau (Jacob’s twin who wanted to kill him.)
Where/When: On the way home to return to his father Isaac; after running away/hiding from Esau.
WHY? Esau wanted to kill Jacob after he stole Esau’s birthright (Gen. 27-28). After so many years of hiding, God told him to go back home (Gen. 31:3).
Jacob feared that Esau might still be mad at him and ready to kill him:
1) He prayed to God about his fear (32:9-12).
2) He planned and strategised what he’s going to do to meet Esau (32:13-21).
3) He changed his plan again when he saw Esau (33:1-3).
Then what? I could imagine how pleasantly shocked Jacob was as I read v. 4
But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept.
The brother-turned-enemy became his brother again. Jacob exclaimed: Seeing you is like seeing the face of God! Why? Because now you have received me favourably.
Lessons to learn:
Favour – an attitude of approval or liking; an act of kindness beyond what is due or usual.
Indeed, what a joy it is to have favour with God and man – that is how Jesus was described when he was growing as a boy. The same was described of Samuel: that he grew in favour with God and man.
Am I not happy when people affirm me? Do I not find satisfaction in gaining the approval of friends and family? How comforting is it to receive a kind word, warm hug and a firm pat on the shoulder when I’m feeling down! Whatever blessing I have, is it not a favour – an act of kindness from God beyond what is due me?
How many of my friends and family members or even strangers do i see as like seeing the face of God? Perhaps, many are, in different ways at different times, sometimes taken for granted?
When people see me, will they say that seeing me is like seeing the face of God? Do I extend the same favour that God gives me to others who need it? Do I forgive as God forgives? Am I kind as He is kind? How do I treat those who have wronged me? What is my attitude when I am the one who has done wrong? How do I extend mercy? How do I receive grace?

A Dose of Laughter

Once upon a time, months before Covid happened, I watched Leap Year. I laughed and laughed. My youngest turned her head and said: Is it that funny? 🤔

I continued laughing. 🤪 It felt good to laugh. I cannot remember when was the last movie that I had such a hearty laugh. 😃 Rom-com is good for my soul – not horror. I do not get high from being horrified. 😱

In line with my interest to write about depression, I googled and found a medical research on ‘Laughter and Depression… (blah blah blah..) 🤣 Blah blah blah is because it sounds scientific and technical to my amateur ears.. “…Hypothesis of pathogenic and therapeutic correlation!” In my own two-cents worth of laymen’s terms: “Can laughter help improve depression?” or “Are laughter and depression related to each other medically?”

So what’s the verdict? Here’s an excerpt from the abstract of the study: (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20380236)
…it has been demonstrated that laughter is able to improve mood directly and to moderate negative consequences of stressful events on psychological well-being; in addition, it is possible that the stimulation of particular cerebral regions, involved in depression pathogenesis, and the normalisation of the hypothalamic pituitary adrenocortical system dysfunctions, both mediated by laughter, can Counteract Efficiently depressive symptoms;
finally, the favourable effects of laughter on social relationships and physical health may have a role in Influencing the Ability of depressed patients to Face the disease.

But this is on the physiological side – the mind and the body. Laughter is just one means to improve depression. What about the soul? Beyond the mental and physical state of feeling good and happy, how does one maintain his ‘spiritual’ health?

The Proverbs teach: A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones. (17:22) The heart mentioned here is more than just the physical organ pumping blood around the body. The heart is the whole being of man – it is “the ruling centre of the whole person, the spring of all desires.” (web.mst.edu~rossh/bible_resources/bible_-_HEART-study.doc)

Paul taught the Philippians to rejoice always. But joy is not just a switch that we turn on and off easily. We need to rejoice In the Lord.

I pray that as a follower of Jesus, a child of the heavenly Father who loves me, I will learn to find joy in each circumstance that comes my way everyday.. and always and only in the Lord… by His grace and mercy alone.

To Forgive and not Forget

How can I forgive.. let me count the ways…

It just hit me now… how do I forgive again and again?

I can forgive if/when I remember the good about the person – what he/she did to help me in the past, even if it were just only one good thing..

I can forgive when I remember how God forgives again and again – the bad things I did again and again..

I can forgive when I see the good in the person who God created in His own image.

I can forgive when I choose to focus on the good in the person – when I step into his/her shoes, to understand and see through his/her eyes where he/she is coming from…

Let me share a story to illustrate my last point.

A friend once pointed out to me that hubby is faithful to me. He is responsible in providing for his family. I cannot remember exactly how we arrived at these observations. But I know it was because I was sadly sharing how I struggled in my unforgiving and hurting heart.

I realised that loving my neighbor as myself calls me to love as I want or need to be loved. We all love and seek to be loved in different ways. The sad thing is often we love others in ways we ‘like’ to show our love. We love to give gifts that we like. We love according to the manner that we think is best for us.

My mom-in-law liked to cook for hubby. For her, food is the most important thing to keep her son healthy and well. She would cook late at night, asking what he would like to eat. She would ‘nag’ him to eat because that is what she does best – cooking and feeding him, taking care of his needs since young. She loves her only begotten son more than anyone in this world. She forgives again and again because in her eyes, he is all good – the gift from God 天赐.

Going back to my friend showing me the way to forgive… she pointed out to me how hubby showed his love to/for me which I was too self-focused to see. She opened my eyes to see a side of hubby which I have taken for granted. Sure, I know that he is loyal and faithful as husband. I know that he is generous and providing for the needs of our family. But it took a gentle nudge from my friend to point me in the right direction – how I need to forgive again and again, how I can forgive again and again through the eyes of love.

Authentic vs Original

In today’s world of fast-paced cut-throat competition, to be first is to take home the bacon. To be first is to be original: a model for others to imitate. It is an advantage to be original in ideas whether in food, products, services, in movies, and everything else there is to market.

To be authentic, on the other hand, is to be genuine; not fake. Henri Nouwen impressed on me a thought which I like. He said: I seek not to be original but to be authentic (Here and Now, 13)

In the literary world, plagiarism is a big issue. Ideas/thoughts in words, phrases or sentences are to be printed with quotation marks, notations, citations with the intention to give credit to the ‘original’ writer. While I agree that to copy other people’s ideas and claim it as your own is not right, I think that thoughts and ideas can be authentic because the mind is authentically created by an authentic Creator.

One can be authentic while he might not be the first or original. In contrast, being the first or original does not precede authenticity.

I like to write: to express my thoughts in black and white. Many of my words and ideas are not original. They are by-products of the experiences I shared with the people around me, from those before me whether heard or seen. But even as my words might not be original, they are to be authentic: whether happy or sad; eloquent or not. What is truth? How can we tell which is genuine or fake?

Words are products of the heart. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of (Luke 6:45). Yes, it is not easy to see the heart of a person. To an outsider, ‘Action often speaks louder than words.’ For the insider, what is from his heart will somehow be revealed in his words and deeds. Authenticity comes from within.

God’s Word, the Bible is the perfect model of words expressed in authenticity because God’s Word is Truth. God’s character, his will, his purpose, his heart validates his authenticity. He is the Only ‘True’ God; Creator of all things: original and authentic!

Of Pride and Humility

Stories of King Hezekiah and King Manasseh (2 Chronicles 29-33)

2 Chron. 29:1-2
Hezekiah was twenty-five years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem twenty-nine years… He did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, just as his father David had done.

2 Chron. 32:1
After all that Hezekiah had so faithfully done, Sennacherib king of Assyria came and invaded Judah.

What did Hezekiah do so faithfully?
Chapter 29: Opened/Repaired the temple
Chapter 30: Celebrated Passover
Chapter 31. Led the people to give to the Lord

After all Hezekiah did, God allowed the Assyrian king to invade his land and instill fear in the people. Hezekiah hanged on in faith and prayers to the Lord. God delivered them from the hands of their enemies. (32:1-23)

In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. He prayed to the LORD, who answered him and gave him a miraculous sign. But Hezekiah’s heart was proud and he did not respond to the kindness shown him; therefore the LORD’s wrath was on him and on Judah and Jerusalem. Then Hezekiah repented of the pride of his heart, as did the people of Jerusalem; therefore the LORD’s wrath did not come on them during the days of Hezekiah… But when envoys were sent by the rulers of Babylon to ask him about the miraculous sign that had occurred in the land, God left him to test him and to know everything that was in his heart. (vv. 24-26, 31).

Hezekiah began well. In 29 years of reign, he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord. There were so many things (more than 3 chapters) written in details of his good deeds. Sadly, when all went well, his pride became his downfall. He showed off… he displayed all his treasures to Babylonian envoys who came to inquire of his miraculous healing. He did not give credit to his kind God who answered his prayers. Hezekiah repented and God relented (v. 26).

2 Chron. 33:1-2
Manasseh was twelve years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem fifty-five years. He did evil in the eyes of the LORD, following the detestable practices of the nations the LORD had driven out before the Israelites.

The LORD spoke to Manasseh and his people, but they paid no attention. So the LORD brought against them the army commanders of the king of Assyria, who took Manasseh prisoner, put a hook in his nose, bound him with bronze shackles and took him to Babylon. In his distress he sought the favor of the LORD his God and humbled himself greatly before the God of his ancestors. And when he prayed to him, the LORD was moved by his entreaty and listened to his plea; so he brought him back to Jerusalem and to his kingdom. Then Manasseh knew that the LORD is God (33:10-13).

Manasseh, king for 55 years, started bad. He did evil in the eyes of the Lord. 10 short verses described how bad he was leading his people “to do more evil than all the nations God destroyed before them.” When Manasseh became a humiliated prisoner (33:11), he humbly prayed to the Lord. Four short verses described his changed heart (33:14-17). And the Lord was ‘moved’ by his plea for mercy (v.13).

A person’s character is revealed by his choices – how he responds to the ups and downs of life. Pride or humility directs man’s choices. God uses all things (good and bad) to test our hearts, humble or proud. His grace and mercy is always in the midst of it all!

When all is well, beware of pride. When all is bad, be aware that God still reigns. How do I respond – humble or proud? Self-sufficient or God-reliant?

The Why’s and How’s of Foot-washing

John 13:1-5, 12-17
It was just before the Passover Festival. Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.
The evening meal was in progress, and the devil had already prompted Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.
1When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

In Jesus’ time, it was customary for people to have their feet washed by servants of the house when they eat together. They wore sandals and their feet get dusty walking from place to place. It was a hospitable gesture for the host to prepare that his guests would have clean feet before dining.

When Jesus had the last supper with his disciples before going to the the cross, they had no servant to wash their feet. So Jesus took off his outer garment, put on a towel around his waist to wash and dry his disciples’ feet – 24 of them. He was their Master. They called him Teacher. Yet, the teacher washed the students’ feet.

Jesus knows who he is. He is the Son of God sent to earth with a mission. He is secure in his identity, his power and purpose (vv. 1, 3). A person of esteemed status who knows his worth does not mind doing the job of the lowly. The Master became the servant because He loved his disciples. He wanted to teach them to love one another. Humility and servitude are essentials to authentic love.

Application:
It’s been more than a year that we are without a maid at home. Hubby, our kids and I share house chores. We serve one another in love – taking out the trash, washing dishes, cleaning the toilet, doing laundry. There is one job I do not relish – disposing of dead cockroaches or lizards. 😃 But I love my family. I realized, practice makes perfect. The more I love, the more I get better at serving my family.

In the pandemic, we (our neighbors) decided to take turns giving food to our guards to keep them safe from Covid. And so this gives us (my children and I) opportunities to serve our security guards by preparing and bringing them food.

Today, I might be a mom, an elder sister, an employer or someone in higher authority and status than others. I can imitate Jesus – serve others in love. Feet-washing is humbling. What lowly acts of love do I offer to people around me? How can I brighten a face with a smile and lighten a load from the heart of someone who needs love?

Feet-washing is more than a physical act of service. It comes from a heart of love – love of the Father and love for others. May the love of God and man compel me to serve in humility. I pray the same for you, my friend. Let Jesus inspire you to wash the feet of another today.

The If’s and When’s of Life

The If’s and when’s of life…

What if I get sick… what if I fail the exam… what if I don’t get the job… what to do when there’s not enough money to pay bills… where to turn when relationships break down… how to cope when death knocks at the door?

The Bible does not have a clear-cut answer for each ‘if’ and ‘when’ of life. One thing it tells us – Do not worry about all these things. (See Matthew 6). Instead pray. Oh, but many of us pray. When? When life is hard and problems come, we get on our knees, we ask for prayers.

King Solomon said a prayer for all the ‘ifs’ and ‘whens’ he could ever imagine in his time. Read 1 Kings 8 and see how he prayed for the ‘If’ and ‘When’: all the ‘bad and sad’ harsh realities in life: sin (v.31,46), wars, conflicts (v.33), natural calamities (v.35), sickness (v.37) etc. Was he not the richest, wisest, most glorious king in the history of Israel? The Bible says there was peace and great prosperity during his reign. (1 King 4, 5:4) Solomon prayed at the dedication of the temple he built for God. His prayer was not the typical ‘celebrative’ prayer.

Why ‘if’ and when ‘when’? ‘If’ means something ‘might’ or ‘might not’ happen. When is a matter of time – ‘when’ things happen. Regardless, Solomon prayed because he wanted God to be ‘present’ in his temple. He acknowledged that God is awesome, loving and kind; too big to be in the house he built (v.23,28). Solomon knew the realities of life and living life… of man’s sinful nature. He understood how nature works: drought, famine, sickness are part of life. Solomon realized man can only live and overcome these challenges by the hand of God. He grasped the importance of having God ‘hear from heaven‘ (vv.30,32,34,36,39,43,45), ‘forgive‘ (vv.30,34,36,39,50) and ‘maintain the cause‘ (v.45,49) of the ‘pray-er’.

Application:
Today, we can pray like Solomon. We pray for the ‘ifs’ and ‘whens’ – for the not so good even in the midst of prosperity and blessings. It is not being pessimistic or fatalistic. We pray because we want God to be with us whatever we’re going thru. We pray because we need his forgiveness if and when we sin, when we make him sad, when we offend our neighbors. We pray because God alone can maintain our cause. He alone makes the impossible, possible.

We pray each of us knowing the affliction (sin) of our hearts:
God, hear in heaven Your dwelling place, and forgive and act and render to each according to all our ways, whose heart You know, for You alone know the hearts of all the sons of men, that we may fear You all the days of our life. (vv.39-40)

Lord, hear in heaven, make me Your dwelling place in order that all the peoples of the earth may know Your name. (v.43)